Obstacles.

     All of our lives have obstacles. They are thrown at us to give us proof of how strong we are when we don't know it. The realization of us conquering what we thought would never be conquered, makes us feel invincible. What is it in our challenges that bring us down? In personal experience, its not what the situation is, its how much one can take. If bad even just keep piling more and more onto you, you tend to give in easily.
     I've learned that when you go through these obstacles, people will ask you whats wrong, and not mean it, and try to comfort you and say "I understand," when they do not have the least bit clue as to how much of an impact this has made on your life. The moral is to pick a friend you fully trust, before you flat out exert your feelings. 

   In hard times, the only friend that is loyal to you, is your self. No, not your family, or your closest friend, you. It may seem a little crazy, but think about it. You can't tell your secrets and betray your self. You can't make weird stares at your self for telling something. Only you can take what has happened and learn from it.

Bottling things up can be unhealthy, Just know that you're not alone when its comes to this, but if you can't handle whats going on, take a pen and paper and write it down.  There's nothing more therapeutic than ink on a piece of paper. 

                                xoxo, 

                                    Kerrianne
 

A Little Burden Called Life.

                 I want an escape; from life, stress, anything. Just take me far far away. I've been sitting for years now trying to develop a way to make myself happy and make it last. Whats wrong with me? My friends make me happy, but at the end of the day something is going to go wrong. It happens every time. I just wish I can be happy for once and cry happy tears instead of shedding painful or sad tears. I'm sick of it. All my tears in weeks worth could fill up the Gulf if it ever ran dry. If only people knew the pain they put me through, and how I deal with it, then they'll rethink their actions.. I hope. I admit, there are a very low count that have never upset me in a day in my life since I've known them, and I'm glad to have them in my life.
   The main problem I have is that I worry. I worry too much for my own good. I stress because of worrying which causes me to not sleep and I get sick. It never ends. I just lie to the ones I love and say I'm okay and fine when in truth, I'm not. I thought love would be my escape, but its just dragging me down the staircase of stress and depression. Its not their fault. I just worry. I worry about whats happening, if they're okay, where they are, everything. I know its not bad to worry, but worrying to much that it effects you is bad. Like I said, I cannot help it. 
    There's nothing I can do about it honestly. Its their life. I cannot control them as I'd like to. I'll always be me, young and stupid. Forever regretting most things in my life, but hey, that's the wonderful thing called life, right?